‘Ello, loves! I enjoy seeing all the adrenaline junkies out there! My hat is off to those who have partaken in skydiving and motorcycling. If only I actually wore a hat…
My mind has been heavy with thoughts over the past few weeks. Going straight from school to home to Athens to home to NYC to home to Lake Erie to Athens has been exhilarating and has awoken me to feelings and ideas I’d never thought of previously.
There is a popular quote that goes along the lines of: “Live the life you’ve always dreamed.” I’ve thought for years that I would, in fact, live exactly the life I dreamed. When I was younger, though, I mistakenly thought that a specific location would make me happy, that the location would be my dream.
What I didn’t realize was that life is not an “if…then” statement. As a Philosophy 101 class would teach you, that is technically a logical fallacy.
“If I move to New York City, then I will be happy.” And, coincidentally, then I will be living my dream.
But what happens when you travel to New York City, stay there for a week and realize you are already happy. In fact, you were happier in Ohio than anywhere.
See, ever since I was in 8th grade, I thought, “Kailey, you will move to New York City as soon as you can. You will do whatever it takes to make it work there. You will be happy there.”
Life just doesn’t work that way. I don’t want to have to attempt a life I once wanted when the life I have is divine. I don’t want to have to attempt my one-time dream life when the people I love the most are a car ride away. Because, in all honesty, my old dream is just that: old. It’s stale. It’s past its expiration date.
Learning that your dream has changed is a notion that can alter the colors in your life. The path I had in my head is completely halted, but instead of scaring the shadoob out of me, it’s brightened everything. Now more than ever I feel as though I can do anything, go anywhere, make my life what I want.
While I was chasing my dream, I grew older. I became more appreciative of the people in my life. I came to know what truly matters to me. It isn’t a location. It isn’t a job. What matters are the people in my life. What matters is my life and how I want to live it. What matters is helping others realize the beauty and deliciousness of their own lives.
I don’t know where I’m going or what’s next, but I do know that locationally, I like where I am.
Scratch that– I love where I am.
Years ago, I imagined myself at 22: Cold, hard, sharp. Care about nothing but my job. Never factor other people into the idea I had of my life. Go to an office. Work all day. Somehow be successful. That was my dream.
Today, at 22, I know that I am none of the things I thought I would be. I want none of the things I thought I wanted. Although I don’t know exactly what I want now, other than to be happy, be with my family and loved ones, celebrate life every day, I’m coming to terms with the fact that dreams change.
What I see in my future is warmer, brighter, lovelier than I had once dreamed. So I’m reinforcing the phrase that means more to me now, more to my 22-year-old self. You can find a variation of it directly below the SnackFace at the top of the page:
Live and love your life. Taste this moment. If it tastes funky, spit it out. Try something else. Still aim for exactly what you want. If that changes, that’s fine, too.
Perhaps I’m writing this mostly for myself, to clear my head. But I felt that it was necessary to share it with you all because I made a big deal of going to NYC in June. I gloated, was super stoked and then, much to my surprise, felt that my being in NYC right now is all wrong. And that is OK.
And who knows…maybe I’ll change my mind again. But for the foreseeable future, I’m livin’ the dream in Ohio.
Ciao for now,