What up, loves! Do you know what today is? FREE WEEZY DAY! I am beyond thrilled that my favorite little rapper has been released from jail.
Does that make me a bad person for loving a convict so much? Don’t answer that.
Anyway, I’m back in Cincinnati! Wednesday morning I awoke and had my current favorite breakfast:
Cinnamon raisin bagel covered with cream cheese with a side of black coffee.
Then I did my usual morning routine of sitting around in my pj’s while blogging and pimping myself out to win the Full Time Fabulous contest! (Please vote here!)
I had a few hours to kill before a phone interview for…something. Can we talk about the phrase “hours to kill/time to kill”? I don’t like it! We should be loving every minute, not trying to kill them! They are precious and should be used wisely. Wisely can include watching movies all day as long as it’s feeding your soul, of course.
After a some phone time, I snacked on a Fuji and packed my belongings.
Fooj.
Before leaving town, I had a late lunch with my man. I decided to let go of my dislike for greasy Chinese and skeezy buffets to eat at China King because someone else really enjoys it. Give and take, my friends.
A little bit of everything vegetarian.
It was tasty, I’ll give it that, but I felt like dookie afterward. Despite my love for Alexia waffle fries, my body does not tolerate grease and fried food that well.
With sadness overcoming me, I left Athens. OK, I’m being dramatic. I was really sad to leave DM but really excited to see my family and pups. I looked to the sky for comfort and to ease my busy mind.
Pretty Godly, if you ask me.
Can't get over it.
Almost three hours later, I reunited with the family! We all chatted. The dogs went crazy. Joyousness overtook the H-Unit household.
For dinner, I had oatmeal. There are slim pickins in this house!
Oats with peanut flour, peanut butter and pumpkin butter. Divine dinner.
MamaJ and I settled down to watch a documentary, Every Little Step, at 10:30 p.m. Every Little Step follows dancers/singers/actors as they audition for the revival of A Chorus Line, a Broadway production about the lives of dancers. I have grown up listening to the soundtrack to A Chorus Line. For some reason, it always strikes a chord within me. Why am I not out there auditioning for everything? Why did I stop dancing? Why am I no longer involved in theatre?
There was one moment near the end of the documentary where a young woman (I’m assuming around my age) calls her mom and is in tears. “Mom, I got the job,” she said. Tears flooded my eyes. I couldn’t help but wonder, “When will I get to call my mom with news like that? When will it happen? It has to happen. Right?” Not only is the unemployed post-college life extremely challenging, but so is wondering what would have happened had I stuck with all the passions I’ve ever had.
At another point in the film, one dancer’s father talks to the camera about his own history with ballet. At 40, he blew out his knees and had to have surgery. He said, “Ask a farmer with calloused hands: Is it worth it?” A ballet dancer who wore out his knees: Is it worth it? To Julie Andrews who can no longer sing: Is it worth it? Their answers must be yes. To anyone who follows his or her passion without regret, without boundaries, who risk everything every time he or she puts everything on the line: Is it worth it? I’m betting yes.
It’s why the contest I entered is so important to me. It’s why I’ve put myself out there to an extent I never have before. It is about putting my heart into something I desperately want and hoping for the absolute best. It does in some ways take me back to auditioning for musicals and plays and castings for modeling jobs. Will they like me? Will I be good enough? Will I be exactly what they’re looking for? Will they like my talent? Do I sound, look, write, think the way they want? The difference here, though, is that while I’ve doubted my singing, acting and dancing abilities before, I’ve never doubted my writing abilities. It is perhaps more hurtful when receiving criticism about one’s own writing than it is to receive criticism about a wobbly note. It’s just that personal.
All I can do is hope that someday I get to call my mom in tears and say, “Mom, I got the job.” All I can do is my best and to hope for the best…every little step of the way.
Ciao for now,
Kailey
QUESTIONS: Have you ever put yourself on the line to follow a passion?
P.S.: Please vote here!
{ 38 comments… read them below or add one }
aw love this. I completely relate with where you are in life right now.. I took on a job post college in May, and it just wasn’t what I was cracked out to do. I’m moving from FL to NYC tomorrow actually.. no job yet, just gonna wing it, work my booty off, and cross my fingers to land something asap!
life is too short to not follow your dreams!
“Life is too short to not follow your dreams”
AMEN.
I love you. There are SO many things I do to put myself out there with hopes of attaining a job and I’m not even hired yet. I’m doing a similar thing as you for Sunglass Hut, and I know what it feels like to have a piece of you out in the world (or pieces all over the world!) with hopes of making your family proud. I think you’re amazing and I am keeping my fingers crossed for you.
Amazing sunsets! SO beautiful
Interviews are so scary, but you’ll do well! I’m up to my eyes in them, cos you can’t make much money in comedy at the start 
Endless endless interviews… but they’re always character building! Good luck!!
ps I really like your “every little step” comment. Really rings true. My other favourite is “fairy steps”. me and my friends say it to each other when things are tough and you know you have to start somewhere… positive thinking!
I’m doing that right now as I search for jobs too! Everyone wants to know what I want to do, and it’s somewhat scary sharing because there’s a strong chance that what I planned won’t be what I’ll be doing. This doesn’t mean I won’t necessarily be happy with whatever I end up with, I know, and that is really all I care about in the end.
You will MOST DEFINITELY be making that call one day! You are a beautiful talented girl and there is no way you WON’T find something you love and are passionate about doing. Keep the faith lady
There is no shame in loving convicts. Between Wayne and T.I. I’m in no position to judge
I’m SO HAPPY he’s out!!!
I wish you could vote more than onncceee
Ugh FRUSTRATING!
Anyways, I got my whole fam to vote, prettymuch. You got this in the bag, though, Kailey. You’re a strong beautiful woman and deserve to win more than ANYONE.
Woo free Weezy!
I definitely think a huge part of finding yourself is putting yourself on the line to follow your dreams and taking risks! If not, you could spend your life wondering “what if?”.
I hope you win and have been voting for you!!
Girl I have so many goosebumps it’s not even funny. I hope you will be able to call your mom and tell her those exact words. I don’t know who else in this world is as deserving of that job as you!
I am in the same boat. I am still waitressing and I have a degree and 26,000 dollars in loans to repay! Yuck!
I’m debating asking my seatmates for their email addresses so I can vote for you yet again. Just kidding. Kind of…
You’ll get to make that call sooner than you think, girl. Everything always works out in the end, and if it doesn’t work out, it’s not the end. Life has a way of always giving us another shot. I have a good feeling about the Full Time Fabulous though- I think we ALL do!! You’re just so perfect for it. Praying you get to follow your passions!!
As soon as I graduate from college, I’m going to go to culinary school (almost positive at this point). It’s not something I’ve talked about on the blog yet but yeah, if I do it’ll be a big leap of faith because there’s no set career that comes out of that. All I know is that I’d rather love what I do and be uncertain than spend the rest of my life grading French tests.
Have a fabulous time with the H-Unit lovepie!!
You will without a doubt be calling your momma to tell her you got the job! Whether it is for this sunglass blog or for starting up your own magazine (which i would subscribe to asap!) I believe in you all the way! I even used my mom’s email to vote for you haha. You got the power to change the world Ms. Kailey
I’m not a huge crier, but this coaxed a few tears.
No matter what happens with this Sunglass Hut deal, no matter what frustrations you endure along the way to pursuing your dreams — keep an open mind to the fact that sometimes reality will offer you opportunities that are far superior to what you think you want for yourself.
(That’s what happened to me, and I talked a bit about it in a recent post. I know you’re not so much into running, but the musings might be worth a skim: http://sweatykid.wordpress.com/2010/10/18/want-to-achieve-your-dream-life-just-go-for-a-run/).
Rooting for you big-time!
Annnd I wrecked that link. Sorry to pollute your comments with this crap. http://sweatykid.wordpress.com/2010/10/18/want-to-achieve-your-dream-life-just-go-for-a-run/
I just viewed the other popular contestants, and I am being honest when I say, you totally deserve it! No offense to them, but you are so much realer and truly have the best qualifications. I really hope you win girl!
Im passionate about every aspect of my life…it’s the only way to live! Go for what you want
While I completely understand and relate to the feelings of wanting to make loved ones proud, it’s important that you see the power and beauty in getting a job for YOU. in fact, I think its more powerful and more important. without a doubt.
enjoy the time with the fam
hey kailey,
i NEVER comment (i did vote for ya though!) but this post hit me so hard i had to say something. i graduated in 2009 (with a journalism degree woo-hoo) and moved across the country to nyc. i did not have a job, a permanent place to live or any sort of a legit plan. but, i was dead-set about working in media and ‘making it’ in nyc. it was a huge risk and by far the scariest and hardest thing i have ever done. the night i got my offer letter i was actually already on the phone with my mom and promptly burst into tears of joy. it is so hard to deal with all the frustration and uncertainty, but the moment you are offered your dream job, makes it all ok. xo.
Hilary- Thank you for sharing that! Journalism has to be the scariest field to enter right now, and I am inspired by your making it! I have faith it will happen for me someday, too!
we can only vote once, righT?!
jenna- Once per email address, yes!
You have ME choking up with this post. I don’t think I can watch that documentary either. What that man said is right. Your sacrifices will make it worth it. Your passion will drive you. Writing is a tough field. People think we’re crazy, we get that. I used to take a train two metros and a bus each way to get to my writing job. And you know what? It was worth it. Keep believing, trying, crying and PIMPING. You’re gonna win big.
Good luck on the contest! I wish that I could say I have risked it all for a passion, but I have played it safe thus far. Who knows if you win it might just inspire me to get moving on my own dreams.
Camille- I hope the win happens then, so you can go after everything you’ve ever wanted, too!
I have a feeling that you’re going to get the job.. it’s PERFECT for you! If not, something else even better will come along my dear
I LOVE Lil Wayne!!!!
And I don’t tolerate greasy/fried foods either.. my body just rejects them. Though I still suffer through the reprecussions every now and then
I don’t comment often, but I love reading your blog and following along, and this is one of the rare occasions where I want to comment just to say – I voted for you! I so hope you win. To be fair, as I know you would probably want your voters to be, I watched the other videos… and still, I was most impressed with yours, even when I took on a relatively objective point of view. You presented yourself extremely well, so… kudos to you.
(Oh, and PS – this was a beautifully written post. Just a side note as a fellow writer!)
Jenny- Thank you bunches! My video may not be the fanciest, but I memorized my script, presented who I really am and tried my best. So thank you! And props from a fellow writer? You’re too good to me.
I hope you win as well! I know you will be successful, especially with your drive and confidence. I really related to this post because I am about to apply to law school (eek!) but I have been procrastinating on actually submitting the apps because I’m afraid of rejection. You have reminded me that I need to have faith in myself and go after what I want – it’s all I can do. Thanks!
Sahar- GET IT GIRL!!! You’ve got this. Apply your heart away!
That was hella inspiring, I’m kinda in the same boat as you.. and I think I know what I wanna do now
Kailey, I’ve been reading your blog for a while and love it! I honestly think that you deserve this job because I can clearly see how much of yourself you put into this blog. Your writing is fantastic, your content is appealing, and you’re funny to boot. I always look forward to your posts because you manage to combine meaning and fluff in every post – perfect. Good luck, girl!!
- Nell
Nell- Meaning and fluff! Haha I love that! I truly appreciate all the support. You know I’d make the most out of this job!
I’m just a random reader of your blog, but I love your how fun you are, real you are and how enthusiastic you are.. So, I think that I’ve voted for you about 10 times with all my different e-mail addresses… GOOD LUCK!
Ally- Awww you are the best! Thank you so much!!
This post really hit a chord with me as Im sure it did with other readers too. I think, in a way, its good that we can see this now, that life is too short to waste time on shizzaaat that is not important, that life is too short to not spend every day immersing ourselves in love, hobbies, interests and adventure. We are still young enough to take advantage of our lives in the best way possible, you wil make that call, and after reading this post, i sure as hell am going to make sure I start doing things today that will allow me to make it too. No regrets. xxxx
“Not only is the unemployed post-college life extremely challenging, but so is wondering what would have happened had I stuck with all the passions I’ve ever had.”
I feel like I was in the exact same situation as you when I graduated 2 years ago. My first degree was in music, and it was a field I had a lot of passions for…had being the key word. But I realized I didn’t want that life and I had other passions I really wanted to explore. So I did. For two years I went between long rounds of unemployment, to working various short-term jobs to see if it was what I wanted to do as a career. I learned a LOT about myself, and it is through those experiences over the past two years that I am now 100% confident that I am in the right place and making the right path for myself.
I’ve gone back to school. Yeah, I never thought I’d be going back to start new degrees from scratch once I was married, but crazier things have happened. The craziest thing probably being that I’m married.
I’m now in a nutrition program as a full time student, I know where I’m going education and career-wise, and I’m currently working what is THE BEST job I have ever had. Not only that but I am a new person now. I am making opportunities for myself and am creating my future with each new day that I work my butt off.
All that to say is that it WILL be worth it and your path will take you to a great place where you realize “everything makes sense now”, whether it includes Full Time Fabulous or not.
That said…I believe in you and I’m going to dig out all my old emails to vote…blog email, personal, school, heck even old work and maiden name emails!
haha didn’t realize that was so long – probably should’ve emailed that!
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