Aloha! Before I get to my main topic for the day, I need to announce a #BYOChobani winner!
I asked my mom to randomly choose a number between 1 and 481 because— can you believe this— random number generator isn’t working right now. MamaJ said comment #371 is the winner! Who is…
Renata, congratulations! Please email me with your info and we’ll get some CHO your way!
OK, now back to what’s been on my mind.
I’ve been blogging for three years. I prize the connection I have with readers and other bloggers. Most of what happens in my blogosphere is just peachy. But then, every three months, a small uprising of negativity or scrutiny occurs. I swear, it’s like clockwork. At once, the dissent and criticism pops up.
My heart sinks* a little when I first read a comment that criticizes my appearance, diet, exercise, writing, life. (*What does this feel like? You can hear your heartbeat, you feel slightly nauseated, your face flushes.) Shortly after, though, something along the lines of pissed-offness takes over. The third stage of this “after the comments strike” reaction is nonchalance. Right there, at the third stage, a little lesson pops up and says, “Hey! Remember me?” Ohhhh, that’s right. That lesson is that in one day, a person can tell you she loves your writing and on the very same day, another person can tell you your writing is garbage. That’s how it is. That’s how it always will be.
I face this at work constantly, but I’ve learned not to take it personally. Writing is hit or miss all the time. Expectations and ideas change, which is part of the beauty of working with a creative team. I’d be lying if I didn’t say it’s also part of the frustration. It’s how you deal with this that matters.
Because I know that a post, nay, a sentence can elicit several different responses, I’ve become a bit paranoid with my writing on the blog. In the workplace, an edit can be cushioned, the blow can be softened or you see how in the greater context of a project why that edit makes sense. On a personal (but not so personal) blog, though, it can be damn difficult to field comments, critiques and downright rudeness. I learn from some, I shake my head at others and I ignore a few. What’s done me no good is watering down my writing as a preventative measure.
Let me give you an example of how I can see responses before I’ve completed writing a post, which has led me to write differently than my instinct tells me. (Which happens more often than I’d like to admit.)
I’ll post a picture.
Spaghetti with meatballs and parmesan.
And here are the responses I can see this eliciting:
A. That looks delicious! I love pasta. I should make it more often!
B. What brand of pasta do you buy? Did you make the sauce yourself or is that from a jar?
C. Ugh you only show pictures of your dinner when you eat pasta. What are you trying to prove?
D. You do such close-up shots of your food that that has to be a tiny portion. Is that only one meatball I see on there? I hope you get help, girl. You’re slipping back into an ED.
E. I still don’t understand how or why or how you’re eating meat again.
F. Yea, you’re eating meat but you’re only eating the healthy sh!t. It’s not like you’d eat bacon.
G. Haha, like you ever clean your plate! Whatever.
H. Learn how to make something else!
I. You are annoying.
J. Nothing.
I can’t make this up. I’ve received every single one of these types of comments before. Sometimes all on the same post. (For those of you who want proof, I’m not searching.) What’s interesting about humans, blogging and commenting is that we all have opinions and we are steadfast within them. That’s great. I just have to stick what I know to be true when it comes to myself.
Drowning out the extraneous noise is difficult when it happens on something you love so much. It’s not simply noise at that point. I invite honest, real discussions in the comment section as long as they’re respectful. I learn from some of these discussions and try to take some criticism into consideration when I blog.
Through the storm of varying opinions, though, I have to stay true to me. And when it comes to the nasty stuff, I have to let go and move forward. I know me better than any commenter. Regarding the food diary post that I wrote last week: it was not deleted, just moved to March 2. I did so because I didn’t want to deal with it at the moment, and I had the awesome Chobani contest running, from which I didn’t want to detract attention. And then after the weekend, I thought about why I moved my post and if it really mattered anymore.
I’m not writing this post to stop the out-there comments—it wouldn’t be as interesting without them. I’m just writing this to gain a peace of mind. I’m writing in hopes that someone out there is nodding vigorously along. (That someone is likely to be a blogger.) I’m also writing about this because it’s strange not to when it happens on this very medium. Everyone has an opinion; I just need to stick to what I know to be true about myself and my beliefs when I read your opinions.
This is kind of a downer post, but it needed to happen. I genuinely feel better. It’s been weighing on me! I’m sure I’ll be back to blogging about snacks and ridiculousness tomorrow. (I have two excellent sweet snacks to share.) Thanks for reading!
Ciao for now,
Kailey
{ 75 comments… read them below or add one }
It really bothers me how the power of anonymity on the internet empowers some people to write some really nasty and just plain rude things. You don’t just find this on healthy living/food blogs… but I do think it is the forums that are more personal and where the person behind the site really puts him/herself out there that can receive the biggest amount of this nasty anonymous web critiques. (Like yours!)
But I do think it is important to remember that the reason we live in a society where people freely (yet obviously sometimes unjustly or crudely) can comment and express their opinions on your blog is the exact same reason why a blog like yours is able to flourish, really have an influence on your own life and other people’s, and have it’s own place and community on the internet. You gotta take the bad to get the good, sometimes. Just focus on why you do it for you–and like you said already, the objective is to never lose sight of what you believe to be true about yourself.
Yep definitely was nodding along- all I can think about the negative type comments without any sort of merit (meaning ones that cannot even be construed as a constructive criticism but just a low blow) is that these are people with a combination of massive insecurities and too much time on their hands. A few weeks back I received a comment in moderation that alluded implied I was an office slut because I had posted a picture of me laughing in the breakroom (where I had happened to have fallen on the floor while laughing). The comment was lengthy, hurtful, and without any sort of value and I was admittedly very shaken and upset by it (I suppose that was my rite of passage as a blogger). It made me rethink the way I portray myself online- am I giving the wrong message? Do all people think this way of me?
With success comes both praise and criticism, and a thicker skin I suppose
When I noticed you deleted your previous post (or thought you did), and then you didn’t blog for a few days, I was afraid that you’d been so massively attacked on that post that you were quitting. And I probably wouldn’t have blamed you, but it would have been huge shame. I don’t blog for a large audience, but I know the feeling of holding your breath when you put yourself out there in any context, waiting to see what comes back, and it’s pretty nerve-wracking. Also, I am bothered by the two sides that seem to form on a comment board: those who are in favor calling the critics “haters,” and the critics calling anyone with a positive response a “suck-up.” Anyway, I think you have a great voice, whether writing about something mundane or something more provocative, and I always enjoy reading even if you feel you have to censor yourself.
Yes!!! Honestly I fell in love with your blog for who YOU are. Reading blogs where people try to maintain a Switzerland status is no fun, and frankly unmemorable. I love reading yours because it is upbeat, constantly changing, and gives off that spicy pizazz that is so adorable. I say forget about the haters and keep doing what you are doing!!!
I always seem to miss out on that shitty action…
Sorry to hear that dear. Hope you feel better soon! It doesn’t really do anything, if I say: “Don’t let them get to you”, because , well negative comments do get a person down, and just suck.
Big, nerdy high five, though. I think you are doing great! Don’t know how I would feel, if sth like that would have happend on the little blog..
It must be a great gift to be able to write off any dissent as “out there.” I’m sure it helps your peace of mind. However, if you are truly committed to “open, honest dialogue,” it seems to me that you should not be creating this category. Moreover, it seems the comments you should TRULY dislike would be comments A and B in the examples above, since A is a trite cliche, and B is utterly mundane. Comments like those will never inspire thought or dialogue about anything important.
I used to enjoy this blog, but I feel it has become very shallow. I do also think your diet has become more restrictive. Both of these things are troublesome to me, and I have expressed that occassionally not because I’m “out there” or trying to make life difficult for you, but because at one point I really did like this blog and I felt that you were not a shallow writer. I wouldn’t even bother to make comments on certain, big blogs because I knew they were shallow and restrictive from day one.
Anyway, I suppose this will eventually be wrtten off as “out there.” It seems you see this feedback as a burden, but I don’t think it has to be. The only way we grow is by hearing and truly accepting critique. I will stop commenting, though, since I no longer feel that this blog is a place where there is much potential for actual thought and conversation that goes beyond make-up and happy happy happy (fake) attitudes.
Rebecca, you’re really clinging to my one use of “out there”, which was just a nice way of saying “comments I don’t necessarily agree with but made pause/think/shake my head.” I don’t simply write off dissent; in fact, this post was inspired by a commenter who was very clear about where she felt my writing has fallen through. That aside, I’m really intrigued by your comment. First off, from what little I’ve shown about what I eat, it’s impossible to discern whether I’m restricted. I can tell you that the way I feel about food now as opposed to my restricted days is entirely different. You’re basing your assumption off very little real information.
Now for that real information, I’m curious as to what’s shallow to you. Writing about food? About mascara? About style? About exercise? About music? Aren’t these the seemingly superfluous things about which I’ve always written on this very blog? If that’s shallow, then so be it. What I do think has happened is that I’m tired when I write and it ends up being lackluster. And therefore some posts become, “Look at this! Isn’t this delicious!” and that’s it. Kinda lame. But I also think that not every single post has to have a point or a meaning. It’s OK for them to be fun, goofy or simple. I’m genuinely interested in hearing what ways you see room for improvement. I’ve been taught that you can’t offer criticism without also offering a suggestion or example of what an improvement would look like.
Well the shallow comment probably came from your defense of Maxim, by saying it empowered women among other things.
Comments A and B are not cliche or mundane! Comment A is a compliment from a reader who enjoys reading a food blog and Comment B is precisely WHY I read food blogs, to find out about yummy products that others have tried.
AND FYI, some people (LIKE ME!) actually ARE that happy! Yep. I have designed my life to support positivity and happiness. There aren’t enough exclamation points in the world to describe how dang happy I am!
Snackface – I LOVE your blog. You’re a happy go-lucky, fashion icon to me. Haters gonna hate girl but you have WAY more who love you!
I’ve always liked Kailey and her blog (still do just as much- nothing has changed for me!), and I’ve never written a mean comment. In fact, I’m probably the “I like pasta!! I should make it more often!!” girl
But I just want to say that I’m so sick of hearing “haters gonna hate!” I think that Rebecca’s comment was very politely written, and while I don’t agree because I still like SnackFace just the same, I don’t think she’s being a hater.
Just my $0.02. Rock on Kailey.
Rebecca,
Why don’t you stop reading the blog? It is simple, if you do not agree with some of the things she writes…stop looking on the site! It only brings others down by expressing your negativity. I think you are forgetting this is HER blog about HER personal life, for gods sake, leave her alone and mind your own business!!!
Anne, your negative and agressive response to Rebecca is really getting my mood down. I thought we were having a nice polite discussion of the points Snackface brought up, not attacking each other.
Last time, then, I promise:
Shallow is hiding posts with controversy. Shallow is not acknowledging or encouraging discussion about larger cultural implications of our actions. When your blog documents your life, there is no halfway. You’re either giving it all, or you’re coming across as shallow. (Always writing “I had an awesome weekend!!” and never writing about what is on your mind is shallow.) I feel like your blog used to have a lot more self reflection, I guess is what it comes down to. Now it’s all presentation of self, without the reflection necessary for depth.
So my suggestion would be to reflect more deeply. I don’t know if this is “good” for a blog or not. I do know, I used to feel you were one of the blogs that did it, and therefore one of the blogs that was being “real” or honest. I don’t feel that way anymore.
And I’m sorry, but Marlow, please look up trite and mundane. If you see a compliment twenty times on one post, it is trite. No doubt about it.
My one suggestion would be more in-depth and reflective posting as well. For example, that post you did on being unemployed for a time after college was really well thought out and helpful to a lot of folks. You’d mentioned a similar post forthcoming about LDRs, which I think would still be a great idea.
cs- Thank you for your suggestion! I appreciate it. I definitely need to do an LDR post, which may very likely turn into a series. There’s a lot to cover!
Well i happen to love the unscencored, rediculous, taking close up pictures of both het food and face snack-face. So just be yourself kailey, it’s all you can do
lots of love!
Some of those comments are hurtful, but luckily this is YOUR blog and YOU can write about whatever you want. Some readers may think a post about makeup is “shallow” but I thought it was fun! (I guess I’m just as deep as a puddle?) At the end of the day, this is your blog and haters are always gonna hate. Keep Snack Face true to yourself!
I think you are awesome!!! Haters gon’ hate but hold your head high. I can promise you that lots of people who love ya and have nice things to say don’t comment at all (i am usually that person).
It sucks that there are negative nellies out there but don’t change your blog because of then!
First of all, you’re awesome, and I have a lot of respect for you for addressing this issue.
Second of all, one of the “good things” that came out of my ED was realizing that I could control how I reacted to situations. Sort of like that Eleanor Roosevelt quote – “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” Constructive criticism- take it in stride, move on. Unconstructive criticism- shrug it off.
And it really is true that the people who take the time to “hate” (for lack of a better term) are doing it out of their own insecurity. There are plenty of times where I read a blog that I don’t connect with, or that I think “This girl seems to be restricting.” So I click away from the blog and move on with my life. (In any case, you could never diagnose an eating disorder via someone’s blog, whether or not they post “everything they eat.”) The one’s who take the time to comment something b*tchy have their own issues. (And the line between constructive criticism and hateful criticism is pretty clear.)
As a blog-reader, I feel that there is a paradox, when topics like this are brought up. So a blogger has changed who s/he is….. so what? I know that I am DEFINITELY not the same person I was two years ago, much less two months ago – and I’ll bet it would be safe to say the same of Kailey. I think that’s reflected in the way her writing, photos, eats, etc. have evolved over the years. For me, I think that while there isn’t the same vivacity in Kailey’s posts on a daily basis that there once was, there are some dazzling words from time to time, and I remember why I started reading in the first place. There was a post awhile ago (I don’t remember the title) in which Kailey had asked her readers about When/Why they stop reading blogs – and I believe the general consensus was, “When the blog is no longer relevant/interesting to ‘my’ lifestyle.” I agree with that sentiment, and have stopped reading multiple health/fitness/fashion blogs over the years, because both I and the blogger have changed. That’s just a part of life – it doesn’t necessarily mean that there is anything inherently “wrong” with either of us. I think the same applies to Kailey’s blog… if it is no longer relevant/interesting to a reader, said reader is welcome to find one of hundreds of other blogs which aligns more smoothly with his/her standards.
I feel that the above scenario is different, however, than someone abruptly changing her blogging style or opinions. I admit that transparency, when it comes to blogging, is HUGE for me. If there is a crisis which is causing a blogger to post less frequently, or if she decides to embark on a new fitness regimen because of a goal (say, a magazine shoot), I appreciate a frank and honest post about it, and it helps me better understand why there is a bit of discrepancy between “then” and “now.” That being said, when there are parts of your life that need to remain private, for legal/ethical/emotional reasons, then there’s not much that can be done. It’s unfortunate for me as a reader, but that’s where the choice comes in to stay loyal to the blog, or not.
I understand the desire for commenters to voice their criticism about a blog, because I’ve done so myself in the past. But here’s the thing – there is a difference between commenting with the understanding that a blogger will take what s/he said into consideration, and creating an expectation from that blogger to change, based on the comment (which is more like a judgement). Kailey is under NO obligation to change for anyone, especially those who make back-handed compliments about the way she writes/eats/lives. How can we expect a writer to “stay true” to herself, if she is constantly bombarded with requests and criticism to write or act a certain way? This then goes back to allowing a person to evolve over time. Everyone does it – why put Kailey on a platform and expect her not to?
This has turned into a much longer comment than I originally intended! So much more to say about all this, but I’ll shut up for the moment
I’ve never understood attacking in comments, if you don’t like something, just don’t read it. Sigh.
I think you’re doing a great job and was hoping that you’d post something on this subject after the madness last week. One of my biggest fears when I started a blog was that I’d face criticism, which is also the reason that I’ve never let anyone read any of the novels I’ve written… I’ve come to believe that the positive outweigh the negative though and I really cherish the support that I’ve gotten on my blog over the last year.
And I agree with Theresa above, we love SnackFace for who YOU are – funny, nerdy, ridiculous, snacky, and adorable – so keep up the good work!
I don’t comment often, but I read every post of yours. I like your style of writing & that you don’t try to fit your post or what you want to share that day in any kind of ‘mold’. The purpose of a blog is to showcase that individual how he or she is and what he or she wants to share. It frustrates me when negative comments are posted on someone’s blog. No one is forcing these people to read it, therefore, I can not understand why they still do if they don’t enjoy it. You shouldn’t have to censor yourself or anxiously await negative comments. Haven’t people ever heard “If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all”.. Don’t change a thing! I love you & your blog!!
Girl, be who you are! If people don’t like your blog, then why the hell are they reading it? They are just trolling and trying to get a rise out of you and everyone who reads this blog!
Be proud of who you are and how far you have come. I have no doubt that if there was a problem with your eating habits or whatever, you have enought support around you that you would reach out.
These trolls need to back off and stop reading this blog! Serioulsy, grow up! ARGH!
Comments are just like any interaction in real life. Vapid topics will elicit vapid “OMG-SPAGHETTI-YUM” comments, while things that require some degree of critical thinking will – naturally – open the forum up for a variety of opinions.
While it’s our duty as a commenter to voice our own opinion with respect and grace, it’s also the writer’s duty to entertain that thought or opinion without writing it off as dissenting “hate”. I personally think “haters gonna hate” is a bunch of crap. People can sense when things aren’t quite as they’re portrayed on a blog, and choosing to bring to the writer’s attention that hey – something seems a little off here – isn’t hate.
Comments are kind of a reality check that as a writer (both a blogger and a professional writer) you should be used to. I also have a blog and write as a profession – editors and anyone else in the position of responding to your writing can make stinging comments, but it’s also their job to see our writing through a different eye than we see it…and to point that out. (Granted, it would be awesome for them to be able to do so without being abrasively personal).
This is my first time commenting on your blog but I feel I just had to do it. I LOVE your blog. I look forward to reading your blog everyday when I am at work and it makes me sad when you don’t update it! Thanks for staying true to yourself and for always being so fun and positive! I love all of your posts and the pictures! Stay true to yourself and keep blogging!!!
Oh girl, please keep doin’ you as only you can! I’m a longtime reader and a very seldom commenter, but as a fellow 5’9″ 24 year old sometimes-model with a 9-5 job in a creative field (obviously we have some things in common… freaky, no?), I think it’s utterly ridiculous that anyone could try to hold your responsible for THEIR health. Because girlfran, YOU’RE (we’re!) 24! You’re obviously still figuring out how YOUR life is best lived, and you shouldn’t have to censor yourself to ward off judge-y readers.
I can’t imagine that sort of pressure and, quite honestly, I hope you CAN open up and lose the readers who don’t jive with this blog as it is right now. You’re a woman in transition and any reader worth keeping will stick around to see what’s in store for you! You is a soldier, Snackface!!
I’ve been reading your blog, Kailey, since nearly the beginning – when you moved to SF, which is near my hometown…so you know, for a looong time. I am probably an atypical reader, as I’m older (ahem…OLD) so maybe I’m reading from a different perspective. What I see now, as opposed to 3 years ago is a young woman, who as a professional writer has knowledge that Google never forgets. The light-hearted student musings, of necessity have changed. So sometimes, what is “safe” to post for all the interwebs to view, may appear to some to be more shallow. Especially when written after 10 hours of screen time that very day.
I love the deeper, thought provoking posts, but it’s fun to see your daily musings as well. (Although, truth be told, I skip the playlists…as I said: Old. *grin*)
Thanks for the opportunity to tell you that I really have enjoyed your voice, your joy and positivity over the years, in spite of personal challenges and struggles.
I think this is really spot on ,and what I had been thinking, too. I do miss the raw, real posts you used to write.. but I still like your writing style even if you’re not really writing about those more meaningful things..]
Who can blame you anyway? I mean, with Google, facebook, your WORK et,c I know that the playing field has totally changed for your blog. Due in part to its success but the sad part is that it seems to be (well, just look at these comments) also supporting its demise.
You are a lovely human being, darling. Miss you! xo
Kailey, you’re such an amazing person! Negative comments are bound to happen, but you field them with such grace. Sticking true to yourself is the best way to avoid letting it drive you crazy!
YOur blog rocks! Don’t give a hoot about what people say, they are ONLY jealous!
I’m telling ya girl, if you need a break at any point you are welcome to come to Ibiza and chill in the sun:)
KEep it up and never forget to smile! xxxx
Don’t even joke– I’ll book a flight TODAY.
high five, twinny. it’s always gonna happen and the judgemental people will always be there to throw their negativity into things. you described the heart-sinking feeling perfectly. I was nodding along the whole time.
as for me, I’ll always be here with my positivity.
big hugs.
LOVE you, your blog and your writing! So glad you opened up. To be honest, I have been waiting for a post of this nature from you for sometime now. The scrutiny you have endured over the past few months has been completely un-called for, disrespectful and just plain mean. So glad you discussed this!
As many times as I’ve read a post about the effect that negative criticism has on a blogger, I’d love to see the flip side and read about what the effect of constant praise is on them, too.
Popular HLBs (and beauty/fashion/lifestyle blogs) should acknowledge that they get a stream of positive feedback *everyday* that most adults do.not.ever.get. Not at work, not at home, and not at school. And it just leads me to believe that if an individual is accustomed to a lot of positive feedback, it impairs their ability to handle criticism.
Hi Katy,
I think you have a great point and I am sure that there are some popular bloggers out there with out of control egos. However, I get a stream of positive feedback every.single.day (and not from my blog as it’s small and my audience is primarily family, friends, and clients). I get it from work, my family, my friends, patients, clients, my boyfrend, and sometimes even complete strangers. I surround myself with positive people and I try to involve myself in positive things, and it makes me sad that it seems that you don’t appear to have that yourself (or think it’s possible). I personally strive to be positive because I feel that you get out what you put in…and I like to make others (and even myself) happy.
This is not to say that I can’t take criticism. I believe that criticism has a time and a place, but even critiques can be reframed more positively. I think most people are too negative and too harsh…for what reason? To get a point across? I guess I don’t understand why we need to disrespect others in order to “teach them something” or learn some kind of “life lesson”. Maybe I live in a world of rainbows and butterflies, and maybe I have it all wrong, but I’d like to think that trying to live a more positive life – full of lots of positive feedback – is an ok way to live.
I also agree Katy asks a good question – but I also want to point out that there is a difference between offering legitimate criticism (like Rebecca did with her last comment up there), and being rude, or making an armchair diagnosis about someone’s mental/physical health. It’s not about having a “tough skin” or being strong enough to take criticism. This is HER space – not a public square where people have the right to sling insults everywhere. And if Kailey feels the need to delete a comment or move a blog post, it is absolutely her right to do so.
Tori, I think you made your point perfectly.
Hey Tori,
I did make a great point – so thanks for acknowledging it.
I take issue with your assertion that I don’t have positive people in my life, or that I don’t get good feedback just because I highlighted something true about the kind of unwarranted, constant positive affirmations that *bloggers* get. You don’t need to condescend and pretend you feel sad for me, it’s unnecessary.
My point is that unlike bloggers, I (and 99.99 percent of people) don’t have people telling me the *mundane* things I do (make dinner, workout, do my makeup) every day are, “awesome! amazing! inspiring!” And it’s not because my makeup isn’t awesome (it is) or that my workouts aren’t inspiring (they might be), it’s because I don’t showcase it for attention on the internet. My choice not to, your choice to do so. I just don’t need that kind of validation for my basic levels of functioning – I get up and get ready, go to work, juggle family and school and activities and I don’t need an audience to applaud me for it. Conversely, when I get feedback about how I can improve something, I’m able to handle it easily and can use it to become a better employee, wife, and student.
But if your life and the lives of other bloggers are as positive as you say, then I challenge all of you to write regular posts about the positive reinforcement you receive on a regular basis from readers and NOT the criticism you get once a month.
“I just don’t need that kind of validation for my basic levels of functioning – I get up and get ready, go to work, juggle family and school and activities and I don’t need an audience to applaud me for it.”
You’re implying that you believe bloggers write because they NEED their everyday lives validated by readers. Wow. If you really look down on bloggers as much as your comment suggests, why do you even read blogs?
She’s saying that some bloggers (Snackface in this case) write posts about the negative comments they get when the negative comments are nothing compared to the positive comments they get.
When you get 100 comments of “That’s awesome” every day and 10 comments of “This is awful” every day, yes, and you write posts soley about those 10 comments, then yes, it does look like bloggers only blog for validation.
Mary – I’m kind of wondering the same thing myself.
Katy – I am truly sorry that you think I was condescending. It really was not my intent. When I read what you wrote, I got a negative, angry vibe and (believe it or not) it did make me sad. Again, my apologies.
I am (per usual) late to the game here, but in reading through the mixed comments yours really struck a chord. I totally agree and just have not been personally able to find the words you have here. Why so much focus on the handful of negative comments when for the most part, 99% of the other comments commend you for… living your life. I too would like to do nothing but surround myself with positive people and experiences but sometimes, life just isnt that positive. Sometimes im broke, somtimes my positive frends are bummed out, sometimes my boyfriend and i have wicked fights. That shit is much “realer” (great word i know) than just pretending that everything is puppies and rainbows and generally much more relatable reading. I have enjoyed reading snack face for a long time (cheetah and college days) and would like to continue enjoying her posts but i also find it absurd that every three months (it is like clockwork) there is one of these posts “addressing something” that doesnt neccesarily seem the merit all this energy.
Katy, you bring up some really interesting points– things about which I’m curious, too. One thing I’ve noticed personally is that I sometimes can’t make a decision without asking several other people first. I wasn’t this way pre-blog. It’s very strange, as though I’m accustomed to having a sounding board. As for acknowledging receiving a stream of positive feedback and reinforcement every day… I don’t think you’re targeting solely me in this category (I’m not that popular), but everything I do in my life receives criticism. Writing, singing, modeling. All of it. Most of the time I can handle it; some of the time I cannot. Once someone tells you that “you need to work on lifting your butt,” you can’t take it all to heart. (And criticism in the blog world is tougher– it usually has to do with a character trait/ socioeconomic background/history.) But I think this is something that relates to anyone who has a Facebook, too. What if your statuses are never “liked”? Or Twitter. What if no one interacts with you or retweets you? I think this is a much larger trend and the effects of it we have yet to see. What else is interesting is what’s it like to feel special/known on the internet and nowhere else?
It’s good that you can get past those awful comments!! I give you a lot of respect for that, some people take it fully to heart.
I don’t really understand what people’s problems are when they write nasty things, or say nasty things. They are just using up their energy.
I sometimes just giggle at a mean comment, I mean, it’s not funny…but it is humorous that people are taking time to post unkind words.
You go girl, you have an amazing blog, and seem like a lovely person, don’t let others bring you down
Honestly I believe people who comment or judge others’ blogs have insecurities within themselves. Do not take it personally my dear. I love your blog, humor, and candidness. Just remember why you started blogging in the first place… If others want to judge you, let them… Your blog is YOUR blog, only you know the truth.
Keep Your Head UP!
Xoxox, Fellow Blogger -
Ellie
I think it comes down to one line: Do your thing.
Be proud of who you are and what you stand for. Bc in the end, that’s all that matters.
I think it comes down to one line: Do your thing.
Be proud of you who you are and what you stand for. Because lezzz be honest. In the end, that’s all that’s going to matter.
Like SueP above, I’m probably one of your more…*ahem*…”seasoned” readers of your blog. I read because I love your enthusiasm for things in your life and that goofy sense of humor. Makes me not hate you for the gift of genetics that gave you those legs…LOL!
All humor aside, I don’t think you should focus so much on the negative comments. It’s the lesson everyone needs to learn: not everybody is going to like you. You can keep struggling with how to deal with negative comments or you can just shrug, think “fine, be that way”, and move on with yo’ bad self!
And to the other commenters calling people who have posted dissenting opinions “trolls” or “haters” haven’t truly experienced trolling or hating. They’re just posting opinions and for the most part those opinions have been respectful. I mean…”bullshit” was the strongest language I saw in either this post or the one she’s referring to! I’ve seen worse…much, much worse.
Kailey – keep being your goofy, snacky-face self, enjoy what you have and let the rest slide. Life’s too short to worry about the small stuff.
I’ve never commented here before, but I had some thoughts about your posts in the last few months. I’ve loved your blog. Reading about someone who’s healthy but not as extreme as the some of the other health bloggers helped me cut myself a bit of slack. However, your latest posts have left me feeling a bit torn. I’m a junior in high school, and had anorexia for a long time. I was in treatment a year ago ago, and have been pretty ok since then. Starting with the Maxim post, I lost some respect for your blog. I didn’t want to post, because you clearly had a ton of people hating on you and didn’t need another, but i felt that what i used this blog for had been lost. I think a lot of readers are here for the same thing, which is to see someone living healthfully and not necessarily always being perfect. The maxim post just felt like you were defending something which i viewed as pretty degrading looking.after that, i think most of your posts were viewed in the light of your low-carb regime and the maxim event. i don’t think you can win (as you’ve pointed out in this post) with anyone by posting your food. i personally would like to see fewer food posts (which mainly just look like defense against your “haters”) and more hair/fashion/fun posts.i think you would have fewer people posting hurtful things.
one last thing! it bothers me to see controversial commenters being diminished by saying things like “haters gonna hate!”.
SORRY THIS WAS SO LONG!
I think this was a very well-written and articulated comment, and I do agree with a lot of what you have written here. I cringe every time I read “haters gonna hate” in blog comments because I think it lessens the ability to have TRUE conversations. Not everyone is going to agree, but through conversation, we can at least make the effort to understand where the other person is coming from.
While I agree with you that the constant “haters gonna hate” comments are annoying, I think they might be in response to people who may have controversial or differing opinions but that share them in a rude or condescending way. I have to say that when I browse through the comments of a post that has been particularly controversial (on any blog), I am often shocked at how rude people are. There is a nice and productive way to say something and I rarely see people who choose that route in blog comments.
Don’t get me wrong, I love good conversation and seeing all sides of a story but I don’t think it’s necessary to be rude in the process.
we were those bloggers nodding with agreement the whole time. we get those random rude comments that just for some reason stick with us. not sure why, but they do. and we know that we are still going to get those people that just do not like us for whatever reason, that is life. you have a great attitude about it all!!! we admire you for so many reasons, one being that you always say what is on your mind and stay true to yourself. that is all we ever want out of our blogging friends. is honesty and being true to themselves.
we love you, no matter what you post we love it!
xoxo
Just get over it. At the end of the day it doesn’t matter what a stranger has to say. Stop dwelling on the negativity and keep your head up. You are who you are and you can’t make everyone happy.
I love your blog. I think its great. I don’t know you, but your blog makes me wish we were friends. Just remember that although negativity will never go away, neither will positivity. Choose to let the positive upflifting comments make you smile instead of letting the negative comments bring you down.
I also don’t get the need people feel to criticize in comments…like others have said, you don’t like a blog, stop reading it…
Also, do blogs have to have a point? Or not be shallow? Aren’t they supposed to be fun? And diary-like? Does Kailee have to be on a campaign for feminism? Or the best example of how to eat and live and be, etc? There’s no one (blogger or not) that can live up to that expectation… She’s not perfect (and hasn’t claimed to be), none of us are… So what gives any of us the right to criticize her? …And if anyone’s answer to that is “because she put it out there on the internet” then again, don’t like it, don’t read it… Spend your internet time on something you like for goodness sake’s! Or go outside!… And maybe her viewpoints aren’t always consistent, but then, who’s are 100% of the time? And how would you feel having to justify every single aspect of your life? I mean, sometimes all of us just want to do things for the hell of it, even if we know they’re “wrong” or “bad” or shallow or whatever…
Anyway, Kailee – love your blog! Keep writing!
I don’t get it when people are rude. I just don’t. Like why???
Anyway, virtual hug from one blogger to another!
Just ignore all the trash and accept all the love! 
hey Kailey,
I am a long time reader, but never commented. I have read your blog for years and I truly find you an inspiring and amazing young woman. You have overcame many obstacles and have balanced work, social life and fitness remarkably. Unfortunetly, readers are going to make negative comments and I believe it comes from their own personal insecurities and their own personal battles with food/nutrition. As hard as it is, try and take these comments with a grain of salt and don’t get discouraged, there are many many readers who enjoy reading your blog and are their to support you!
(my thoughts when I read your blog)
1. Ohh Pasta, looks delicious!
2.Is that a meatball? I make the best meatballs!
3.My doc said at my age I should be eating pasta once or twice a MONTH.
4.Spaghetti & meatballs for dinner it is!
5.Snackface to the rescue again. I wonder how Muffin & Prince are…
6.Just keep doin what you you do Kailee. I learn a lot from you.
I just don’t get why people take things to heart… It is your blog and is about your life so i really think you can write and say what you want. us as readers just have to accept it for what it is. if someone don’t like it they could move on to the next blog. it is your life and you decide what to share or not with us. i don’t understand why people have to be rude and make bad comments. at least we see the real you… i have read blogs that the bloggers are always happy, upbeat, healthy eating all the time 24/7 and lets be honest that’s not reality. but i don’t judge them, who am i to judge, it is their blog and thats what they want to share even if is not true. people have to learn how to let go and STOP judging
oh blog comments. mine are moderated now by an intern b/c people are idiots.
I thoroughly enjoy all of your blogging, Kaley, so I’m saddened by the negative comments you wrote about here. I think it’s great that you were able to write about it though and not just let it slide by.
You’re great!
And I forgot an “i”, I’m sorry… Kailey.
You’re good! Sometimes I skip the “e” when I sign my name. It’s terrible! Hahaha!
I think you’re fab….and I love reading what you write!
xoxo
I do appreciate how you allow respectful dissent and discussion on your blog…that is truly NOT the norm in the blog world, and I’m always baffled by authors who expect strictly “rah rah” responses to their writing. I never do ANYTHING in life, personally or professionally, expecting only praise as a result. I mean, even when I do something as basic as make dinner, sometimes my husband says “honey, this is awesome!” and sometimes he says, “maybe some red pepper flake next time? it was missing some heat.” this is hardly a result of him “hating;” it’s just part of him having the capacity to critically evaluate his world. I agree that it’s important to be respectful, but too often, even the politest constructive criticism—especially of a popular blogger—is written of as “hating,” and that reader is righteously directed to “quit reading.” I always wonder: If a friend or colleague ever offers a contrasting viewpoint, do you tell them to quit working with you or quit being your friend? The blogger-reader relationship is just that—a relationship—and some discourse is certainly part of the process.
I also think it’s worth considering that most “personal” blogs are no longer personal; they’re actually money-making ventures. And even if you’re only making 10 cents a month, that means readers are no longer just readers. They’re customers, and I think that implies a new level of accountability that many bloggers are not keen to accept.
Anyway, thanks for allowing critique, and I hope you keep writing as authentically as possible.
Just wanted to say, SnackFace my Sunshine, that I have been reading your blog whenever possible for a couple of years. I always close my window thinking what a delightful, funny, creative, and intelligent young lady you are.
I enjoy serious blogs, funny blogs, news blogs and food blogs and dance blogs. All for different reasons. The reason I enjoy your blog is because it makes me smile.
Notice, I said “your blog”. “SnackFace” is your blog. At the end of the day, in my opinion, you should write what you feel and what you know, and it’s your creative process.
How much you want to take others’ opinions into account is your decision. As for me, I will always tune into SnackFace for some food and fashion and fun, not to mention true hilarity (and hip hop references!)…
xoxo ~ Carrie
Omg I know what you mean. Last week I got a random mean comment on a RECIPE post! I had one picture of my sister and I to start the post but the main idea was a chicken recipe. Then one commented (who never has a blog) wrote: You look old…your skin looks leathery and parched…you should change up your face routine to have more glowly youthful skin – Say what? I never once said I had perfect skin but man that rubbed me the wrong way and I shouldn’t of tweeted about it but I did. lesson learned. She fired back with more comments and then my readers defending me. You can’t stop them and you just go to ignore. You freakin’ ROCK!
Keep doing what you’re doing if it makes you happy!
stop telling me to “not read the blog.” kailey basically pastes a page from her journal on the internet and gets money every time someone clicks it. i can check it out once and be completely disappointed and i’m contributing to her income. that’s different than almost every industry out there. restaurants exist to serve people, literally, and they get ripped to pieces all the times. it keeps the good ones afloat. so yeah, i get to voice my opinion. otherwise you’re posting a completely self-absorbed journal entry where people can either 1) say your sandwich looks so yum or 2) tell you about their lunch. i’m sure someone occasionally tells you that you’re inspiring, but stop acting like you got tripped in the lunch room. make it private and not for profit if you can’t handle shit that doesn’t coddle you. that’s the free market system, right? you should know, you are hosting a giveaway…
I find your comment very confusing. You say that you don’t want to be told not to read the blog and then trivialize the content that she posts on her blog? Honestly, if you don’t like and don’t want to contribute by clicking on her blog, then don’t read it.
I don’t mean to speak for Kailey but blogs such as this one are what I would consider a healthy living *personal* blog. I don’t think her purpose can be compared to that of a restaurant. Yes, I agree that there is room for dissent but in a decent and thoughtful manner.
ps – i’m not defending comments that are merely judging your skin or something. that’s kind of tacky, i have real people in my life with haircuts to judge! that distinction needs to be made though because too often it’s the defense of “they’re just pathetic meany-pants! go you girlfran!!” and that’s just juvenile.
I just find it so interesting that everytime I read a negative comment on a blog, the writer of the comment is always “anonymous”, doesn’t have a blog theirselves, or doesn’t want anyway that anyone can access them. As a blogger, you put yourself out there everyday! Who cares if you get paid or not? You’re out there. And that’s not easy. What if people were able to comment on an open forum on your life everyday anonymously? That’s tough. I am totally down for differing opinions and good discussion, but negativity for the sake of negativity is no good.
You can’t let those people bother you though. People with that much negativity and sadness often have some serious issues going on in their life and have to release their anger somehow. Going onto a blog and anonymously ripping someone for 1) writing a blog, 2) food or b) clothes sounds like a pretty EASY way to get rid of the negativity they have built up inside them. You can’t let those people bother you…you can only feel sorry for them.
Keep doing what you do and enjoy it! You can’t control everyone elses actions or words that come out of their mouth but you can control yours and I think you do a great job of it… Snack on with your bad self
love this blog and LOVE you <3
it took me a long time to realize that no matter what you do, people are going to love and hate you for the exact same things. you have to blog for the people who "get you" and know where you're coming from, and just anticipate the fact that no matter what you say, someone out there will have a prob with it. and that's ok.
what bothers me is when people can't say they disagree with something in a polite way, or make hateful comments with no constructive purpose- just thrown out there to try and hurt you. i got a lot of that after i had livi and it was absolutely horrible. it's hard, it sucks, and sadly is part of the package when you put your life out there on the internet.
text or email me anytime!
sending lots of love to you, friend <3
Honestly, life is this way too. People will love, hate, be weird to you, and sometimes it’s important to think it through because it helps you understand what it all means to be human. But at the end of the day, as long as you’re putting something out there that makes sense and that you can get behind 100%, you have to continue to do so. You have to keep fighting for it and changing it as you change.