I’m just going to cut to the chase. Rip it off like a Band-Aid. I’m going to be the only thing I know how to be on this blog: candid.
Your girl is now single. It’s strange, it’s freeing, it’s sad, it’s new and it’s private. Even though I’d like to be entirely open and I write about/analyze relationships for work, I’m going to keep this more about me than anything else, out of respect.
To fall into a relationship just as you’re graduating college is a tricky thing. My instinct was to go for it; my heart followed. And then two years later, I found myself not pursuing the things I’d dreamed of conquering my whole life. I was (am) pissed at myself for that.
While any breakup comes with pain, the decision was the right one. DM and I ended things as amicably as possible. I still love him, respect him and want only the best for him.
As for me, I feel like myself again. It’s wild. I am making plans to move forward in my life— things I haven’t let myself consider for a long time. These “things” will reveal themselves over the next few months, and I am pumped about that.
In the meantime, I’ll be listening to hours of hip hop, working, working out like mad, reconnecting with my friends and sending out moody/philosophical tweets.
Ciao for now,
Kailey
{ 57 comments… read them below or add one }
Long distance is hard. hugs!
Way to keep your head up, girl! Best of luck to your future endeavors! I’ll be sitting here waiting to read about them (ok no, I have things to do in he mean time, but you know what I mean
)
I’m sorry girl! You’re young, gorgeous, and have a lot to look forward to. We’re the same age, and I have to say, this is our time to shine.
P.S.- If you need some retail therapy, I work at BR in Rookwood, I’d be happy to hook ya up! lol
I admire your strength. Keep a positive outlook and remember everything happens for a reason.
That sucks but good on you for having such a great attitude about it. Stay strong! the best is yet to come <3
You are a force of nature.
Thinkin about you girl. I obviously did the exact same thing – started dating at the end of college and tried the distance. It’s TOUGH, as if this period of our lives isn’t tough enough on its own. I commend you for putting so much effort into it and you obviously are making the best decisions you can for yourself. Hope you’re doing alright – you’re beautiful and successful and only good things will come!
Your optimistic attitude and fierce determination will pull you though! I’m in the same boat…just recently ended a 3.5 yr. relationship and the best way to describe it is to use your exact words: ” I feel like myself again. It’s wild.” I couldn’t agree more. Stay strong pretty lady! Life is just getting started and things are about to get interesting
I think I have an idea of what some of those “things” may be, and I am PUMPED for you! Ending a relationship is especially hard when there are good feelings, but I’m glad you’re making the best decision for yourself and chasing your dreams while you’re still young. Big hugs to you and good luck, dear!
i know how hard this is! dated a guy all through college and a couple years after and then broke up. Havent found ‘the one’ yet but this is our time to be free to do whatever we want (work, travel, etc). Enjoy it and treasure it!!
I JUST broke up with my boyfriend of over a year on Saturday. An LDR as well. It’s shitty but man, is it liberating. I had to make my life about me for now, and it sounds like that’s what you’re doing. It’s empowering, taking the reigns again. Good luck, stay happy, and remember we’re all here loving you!
Love you girlie!
So stressful girl, I hear you. You do you!!
Hugs lady. Remember, what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.
YOU DO YOU. So much respect. Doing the right thing is admirable, even and especially when it’s hard. Mwah!
enjoy this phase of your life…all of it.
yep. do you. <3
Kailey, I know I can’t say, “I know exactly what you are going through!” because I haven’t had a boyfriend yet. But what I do know is that you are going to come out of this stronger than ever. You should be so proud of yourself for listening to your intuition and following your dreams. I know the saying, “everything happens for a reason” is sometimes the last line one wants to hear (I just got my rejection email for nursing even with having a 4.0) but you just got to stay positive. I know it sounds crazy to hear this from someone you have never met, but girl I don’t see your future being anything but wonderful. Stay strong and positive.<3
so proud of you and the amazing things to come in the not-so-distant future. hugs, loves and slow jamz.
Breaking up with my long-term boyfriend felt like the best and worst moment of my life at that point. It’s incredibly lonely to be just you so suddenly, but so liberating. Kudos to you for keeping it private, but honest!
Hey girl! Just standing in solidarity with you! I had a LDR with a guy that started when I was a senior in college and ended not too long ago. I’ve commented a couple times before telling you how similar we are, and this only solidifies it.
I LOVE YOU! You do you and the Chick Mafia will follow.
BOW DOWN TO OUR LEADER
I just went through the exact same thing a month ago. Long distance, two years, same reason, same feelings. I’ve always enjoyed reading your blog because you had a successful long distance relationship and now I’m going to enjoy reading it even more because you’re smart, independent and you have so many exciting things ahead of you.
Relationships are hard, long distance or not, but I feel like I just had a million new doors open and I’m sure you do too
Hang in there!
I admire your strength to do the right thing for YOU!
I started my relationship midway through my senior year of college, and like you, my gut said to stick with it even though it was going to be long distance after we graduated. Luckily for me, even though the distance sucked, I’ve still been able to pursue my career/build the life I was hoping to have, and my boyfriend has been able to do the same. Had either of us been lacking this, I don’t think it ever could have worked for as long as it has.
It sounds like you made the decision that was right for you, and you clearly know what you want to do/where you want to go next!
ALWAYS do what your heart says, I am so happy you are doing what you know is best and what will make you happy! Life is too short for anything else girl!
You are young and this is the time you can go chase your dreams! Love you!
Ach, sucks. But I understand. LDRs are soooo hard. Everytime I am away from my BF, I think about breakung up, cause it’s just so frustrating and sad.
Cudos that you guys had the guts to admit to it and go through with the seperation.
I am not there yet, I guess…
I’m so sorry! You’re very brave to put this out there, I know how raw your feelings are right now. You’re doing an amazing job of seeing the silver lining though, so keep it up. Good luck with your life changes and going for your dreams with everything you have, we’re all rooting for you!!!
Even when it’s for the best, the ending of a relationship (or a crush!) is bittersweet and emotional. I was ROUGH after my first serious relationship ended after college.
That said, all of my really fun and exceptionally bold decisions came as a single lady.
Excited to hear your future plans. XOXOXO!
Thinking of you – these things are never easy! My college BF lived in Columbus after graduation (and I’m in Pittsburgh), and even those 3 hours proved to be too much. Things always work out for a reason, and I think we’re both better off now!
Good luck with everything, Kailey! I know it’s hard, but it sounds like you’re handling it quite well!!! And if you need more music to add to your hip-hop collection, I’m a preppy white girl with a deep love of horrible rap music
hahaha. (I may or may not have have T-Pain on right now.)
I just went through the same thing this past weekend. Long Distance is extremely difficult and I just realized we weren’t on the same page. He was in Law School in PA and I’m working in NYC. I just like he never had any time for me or made a big enough effort to show me that he cared. I still love and care about him, but I’m excited to get on with my life and see what’s out there.
Good Luck Kailey!! You rock and I love your blog.
You are amazing and it will all work out for the best for both of you.
I’ve been there. Preeeetty sucky. Keep your head up – can’t wait to hear what’s in store!
Sorry to hear about the end of a relationship, but I’m pumped that you feel you can now work freely on making your dreams a reality.
I’m so sorry to hear that, but if it’s right it’s right. Lots of love!
Ouch, breakups – even the most amicable – kick your ass in a way you never imagined would be possible. They also provide a catalyst for rebuilding your life the way you want it to be – and that feeling when you start learning how to be yourself again is unmatchable.
I’m so sorry to hear <3 Breakups are hard no matter how it ended. Being on your own, however, can truly make you find yourself and enjoy doing the things you LOVE! I cannot wait to see what you get up to doing those things that you love!! You are gorgeous, strong, smart – you got everything going for you!
I’m so sorry
Breakups suck! But now you have the opportunity to live in whatever way you want and make any plans you desire– and that’s exciting! Maybe a move to SF perhaps?? Just saying 
Sorry about your break up, girly. :-S but it sounds like you have the right perspective about things. Time will heal and love will come around again.
although it was years ago, I had the exact same situation. and as painful as it was, breaking it off finally let me be free and pursue my dreams completely. it takes courage and it hurts like hell, but youve got amazing things coming your way.
love the blog, love reading, and very excited for the new chapter…but take time for yourself
i feel you and feel for you. i’m a young woman the same age as you i broke up with my boyfriend who was nine years older and lived on the other side of the world just two months ago. these last two months have been painful and lonely at times, but there is light at the end of the tunnel. taking time for yourself and knowing that there is so much out there for you to see and achieve as an individual is the best outlook to have. good luck, you’re gorgeous and smart and you will have a lot of love in your life for sure
Sweetie, my heart is breaking for you but also cheering for you!
Breakups can be so hard, but life changing. Wishing you the best.
Props for being able to write about your breakup while adhering to AP Style (you dropped the Oxford Comma!) Seriously, it sucks, but it will get better. My last breakup was with a guy I dated for 3 years in medical school when I realized he was holding me back from what I had worked so hard for in my career. Now I’m doing what I love and engaged to a guy who is totally supportive of it. In the meantime while it still stings, Jason Derulo Ridin’ Solo is pretty therapeutic
Hang in there.
Seriously I literally just went through this same thing in early March. I’d been with my then boyfriend for 5 years and found myself “stuck”. It wasn’t him at all, I just didn’t feel like myself and was scared that I was in a sort of routine while I was only 20. I also realized that I had never dated anyone else! While it was the hardest decision I had to make, and I was so close to his family I just felt that it was the right thing to do. Way to go for being brave and following what you knew was right for you at the time. I like to look at it positively and think that even though I had a great relationship if it wasn’t meant to be that means theres someone even better for me out there, and if it is meant to be it will be later.
xx
I’m getting ready for a major change in my life and keep going back to this article. I read it like three times a day – it just makes me feel so optimistic about life and the feelings that come with chasing your dreams.
http://www.purposefairy.com/3308/15-things-you-should-give-up-in-order-to-be-happy/
I think what you’re doing is incredibly brave and AMAZING. Good luck with everything!
stay feisty! good for you. Chase after San Francisco.
The best relationship advice I’ve ever received and the only tip I listen to is:
“Find someone who knows your dreams, wants it badly for you, and will push you towards them even when you don’t want to push yourself, because thats love”
Hey girl. Love your blog. I never comment, but keep your chin up! Same situation for me this spring. Remember: every little thing’s gonna be alright.
Break-ups are so tough, but you learn about yourself from each relationship/break-up. You are stronger than you know! Take this time to be proactive, brave, and ambitious. You have wonderful things ahead!
love your blog and truly think you are inspiration. break ups are tough but you will come out of it with great support and having the ability to put everything you have into your ambitions is wonderful. keep your chin up, you will do great thing
Thinking of you, Kailey! I have a good feeling that a lot of happiness and excitement is coming your way and love that you are chasing after your dreams with a renewed sense of purpose and passion. It’s very inspiring! Can’t wait to hear more about what’s next.
<3
Our story sounds eerily similar. I put my life on hold, and some nights it took everything I could not to mutter the words “I can’t do this anymore”. My world opened up after I had the courage to live life on my terms. Did I wish he was by my side for some it? Sure. Four years later, sometimes I still do. But if I learned anything was, there’s going to be someone who turns your life upside down… let them. We are all better people because of it. DM may not be the end to your love story, but he’ll unknowingly give you the courage to love the person who is. Hang in there girl. You are going to do fantastic things.
xo-Molly
babydoll, as I told you before (sorry.. just now catching up on my blog reading!), you are fantastic. you are loved. you are beautiful. and now that you are SINGLE, you are free to come play with me here all the time. right? right. so come on down. like now. xoxox
If by moving forward you mean hanging out with me and Atticus more, CH-YEAHHH! We miss you face here in Clifton!