Life, much like this collage, has been all over the place. But in the most wonderful way. I have no sense of normalcy. Sure, I go to work Monday through Friday, 9 a.m. to 6 p.m., but what happens the rest of the time is completely unpredictable.
I’ve been living like I’m on a permanent vacation. In countless ways, it’s effing awesome. In other ways, it’s been less pleasant. Talking on a large scale isn’t helpful to you guys, though. What I’m saying is that though I’ve always been confused about the word balance, it becomes tiring when you have absolutely no sense of it.
When I was in Ohio, my schedule rarely veered off course. Wake up, get ready for work, go to work, go to the gym, go home, shower, write, sleep. Repeat until Friday. Now, though, my after-school (I mean WORK) schedule is as busy as my 9 to 6. Tonight, for example, I’m going to the gym to take a class or two, then going to a dancer/choreographer event in Hollywood. I see time differently. It used to be the strict metronome to which, if I missed one beat, I completely lost rhythm. I had to stay on the beat. But now, it’s all my own… and I’m trying to figure out how to manage my own rhythm and my own time.
Maybe what I’m feeling fully for the first time in my life is independence. Just maybe. But that sounds too serious. I don’t have to figure it out or label it or decide how I should feel about it just yet. I’d rather say… you know this thing called life? I’m just living it.