On Turning 25

by snackface on November 27, 2012 · 51 comments

Kailey-Harless-On-Turning-25
I started this blog when I was 21. That’s four years of life on my little spot on the internet. Those four years have seen the ups and downs of overcoming an eating disorder. They’ve seen me in two (failed) relationships. They’ve tracked incredible friendships that continue to flourish. They’ve witnessed my college graduation, tons of fun on weekends and my undying love for my family and spending time with them. There are about two years on this blog where I was (mostly) quietly unhappy, disappointed in myself for not doing more. I guess every year tracks the immense pressure I put (and continue to put) on myself. I’ve gained friends I still haven’t met. I’ve gained critics who’ve made me feel like shit and have also made me look at things differently. What I’ll always have, what I will keep here, is a place that tracks four huge years of my life.

Now, I’m 25. Four (four?) months ago I up and moved to Los Angeles. The people who really, truly know me were not surprised by this decision. Some said it was long overdue. These four months, a small fraction of the time I’ve had a blog, have remained off the blog, mostly unwritten. This is partially because I’m all over the place, but more than anything, it’s because I don’t want to share this part of my life yet. At least not here, on SnackFace, a blog that started with the sole intention of sharing food, exercise and healthy living tips via aspects of my own life.

What’s ironic is that I have more writing material now than ever. Every day here feels a week long. So much happens within a day, and I feel every part of it intensely. How this affects my writing serves this blog no good. Where this blog was filled with rote details of my day-to-day, my personal writing now is just me trying to capture emotions on a page. It’s cryptic to anyone but me right now. I can’t share the full story right now.

At 25, I’m happier than I’ve ever been. I’m more challenged than ever, yet I live more freely than I knew I could. I have no routines outside my job. Seriously. No workout routines, no regular meals or specific diets. I defined how well I was living by exercise and diet for so long, that now that I am free of it (red wine and popcorn for dinner? Don’t mind if I do…), writing about it here, again, seems futile. I read some of the blogs I’ve followed for years and think, “They’re still obsessed with sugar? They’re still struggling? They’re still measuring that out? They’re still trying to figure out how to stop overeating?” To which I say: You have to take a step back from it all in order to move forward. It’s not that I am cured/the smartest/know it all, it’s just that…why care that much? Why? I really don’t get it. Step away and you’ll find yourself not obsessing so much.

ANYWAY. Aside from that tangent…I started to filter every word, sentence, punctuation choice, picture choice, etc. For who? Why? Who am I going to piss off? I didn’t feel like subjecting myself to rude comments anymore, so I stopped being #me on my own blog. NO NO NO. That’s no way to be a writer or have a blog. Just no. (I think this paragraph is just me venting more. Moving on.)

So what’s life like now? I drive to work in the morning, singing and smiling in the sunshine, as I approach the Hollywood sign. I work all day, doing things I’d do in my free time, surrounded by people who crack me up and my BFF Tiff. After work, who knows? Go to the gym (rarely) and take a hip hop or yoga class with my fellow WeHo-ians. Go to happy hour-turned-dinner with coworkers and friends. Go shopping (browsing). Go to a champagne tasting. Go to Greystone/Vignette/Bootsy’s. Go to a Black Keys concert or see Solveig kick ass in the DJ booth. I’m not trying to inflate this; I’m really trying to tell you what this new life is like. The truth? It’s fucking awesome. But I’d sound like a jackass no matter how I try to share it right now.

At 25, I feel with every part of me that I’m starting down a new trajectory. That trajectory doesn’t include this blog, which has been a huge, influential part of my life. I see myself starting a new blog, but I’m just not sure when. I have loved this blog and having all of you here with me. I cannot thank you enough for making my life different. Not everyone has people— strangers— there to support them through their early twenties. That’s been a very special gift I’ll carry with me forever. Though I won’t be posting here anymore (there might be a random post every now and then…but…might), I will still be a Twitter and Insta-hofessional.

So, my loves, I am taking my own advice. I am saying ciao to the last four years. I am letting go. I am stepping away from this all so I can fully move forward. Twenty-five is going to be incredible. I love you all. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Ciao for now,

Kailey


{ 50 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Danielle November 27, 2012 at 4:00 am

You go girl. xo

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2 Liz (formerly VeggieGirl) November 27, 2012 at 5:11 am

This is awesome – cheers to this new chapter in your life (I too stopped blogging for the same reason – to move on to a new part of life, after I blogged for 4 years). Keep up the great work, Kailey!

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3 Gabriela November 27, 2012 at 7:56 am

“I read some of the blogs I’ve followed for years and think, “They’re still obsessed with sugar? They’re still struggling? They’re still measuring that out? They’re still trying to figure out how to stop overeating?” To which I say: You have to take a step back from it all in order to move forward. It’s not that I am cured/the smartest/know it all, it’s just that…why care that much? Why? I really don’t get it. Step away and you’ll find yourself not obsessing so much.”

So dead on. I had exactly the same revelation about a year ago; my heart just wasn’t in it anymore, and while blogging had initially brought huge strides in my relationship with food, it had started to do the opposite. I felt accountable to random people on the internet, both supporters and naysayers, and it was preventing me from living my life the way I wanted to. It’s actually comical for me to read old posts now- ending the obsession with diet and exercise encouraged me to remove the pole from my ass, form new relationships, and generally just be a happier person.

I’m a little sad to see SnackFace go (it was one of the first blogs I ever found in fall 2009!), but I am so happy that you’re loving life right now, and happy that we both went through that phase in our lives so I could meet you! Keep on enjoying your new path and happy 25th!!

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4 Alyssa November 27, 2012 at 9:22 am

I could have written this comment myself! It’s funny how far we’ve all come. I remember sitting at my desk at my internship in the summer of 2009 and reading SnackFace and being so amazed that there was someone else out there going through the same thing I was going through… and look how far we’ve come! It’s amazing. And I love you. But you knew this.

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5 Evan November 27, 2012 at 9:35 am

Thirded! I remember doing the same thing and being like “I KNOW this girl.” You’re living what is basically my life on the West coast now – and isn’t it great to start becoming who you are? Sometime soon, we’ll be blog friends who’ve actually met. Until then, I’m rooting for us as we continue to grow and live/love life. Love you!

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6 Alyssa November 27, 2012 at 10:21 am

WHY CAN’T WE ALL HANG OUT

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7 Lindsay Simone November 27, 2012 at 11:00 pm

I couldn’t agree more. Like all of you, I had to do the same thing. Step away from the food blogs, the food obsessions, the exercise obsessions, and the all things “healthy” obsessions in order to get over my obsession–my eating disorder and inability to just let food be what it is: something I eat, not something I think about on a constant basis.

That said, Kailey, I will so miss your thoughts, your writing bursts of brutal honesty, and most of all, your analytical mind and gift for writing. Can’t wait for you to start a new blog, but if that doesn’t happen I hope you just enjoy living YOUR life, for YOU, in YOUR own way.

Thinking of you and wishing you all the best! PS, happy belated bday!

8 Evan November 28, 2012 at 9:36 am

IKNORIGHT. Just wanna be real life girlfranns!

9 Julie November 27, 2012 at 9:04 am

Kailey, while this blog will be sorely missed, I am so glad that you are having such an amazing time. Please make it known if and when you start blogging again, I’m a huge fan of yours. live it up :-)

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10 purelytwins November 27, 2012 at 9:56 am

Kailey we have loved your blog and the person who are, and the person who you are becoming. You are so strong and beautiful and we admire you so much for that. We are so happy for you, and sending lots of hugs your way! Whatever you end up doing will be great!!!

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11 Brooke November 27, 2012 at 10:19 am

My Kails! I remember finding your blog back in 2009 and being like, “Ooh! This girl is so cool. And she is interning in SF?? I should reach out…” And then I remember picking you up in my 4-Runner outside your foggy VegNews apartment/office, getting ice cream and not tasting the ice cream because we were talking NONSTOP FOR HOURS. We were soul sisters since the second we met. Then I remember picking you up in Brittany’s car outside Trader Joe’s because I wasn’t going to let you walk down 19th ave in the dark! We turned a corner and we all heard these bottles clink in the trunk and Brittany made some comment like, “Well, THERE are those Skyy bottles!” and you laughed OUT LOUD… and that’s when I should of known we were gonna get half-roophied together (LOLS about that now). We spent the craziest, greatest, youngin summer together with our Irish adventures, Blue Moons and meatless meatballs/triple layer TJ hummus! I can’t even explain how happy I am you, Alyssa and Lauryn are in my life! I really would feel lost without you guys… I love you all so much and value our friendship more than words can describe. Oh, and I will also never forget the time you, Brittany and I were walking through Golden Gate Park and some guy looked us up and down and go, “Whoa. Chick Mafia.” BOOM. LOVE YOU!!!!! So incredibly happy you are living your life in LA now… you are such a role model for me through your hard work in college and post-grad! CAN’T WAIT TIL WE REUNITED IN THE NEAR FUTURE WITH THE FULL CHICK MAFIA! XOXOXOXOX #me

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12 Alyssa November 27, 2012 at 10:22 am

SOBS

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13 Caity @ Moi Contre La Vie November 27, 2012 at 10:44 am

Of course we’ll miss SnackFace but it sounds like you’re in a happy, healthy mindspace and that’s ALL that matters! Good luck on all your ventures and I hope your path to happiness continues in LA. :)

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14 Lauren November 27, 2012 at 11:01 am

Lovely post, Kailey! I anticipated this post’s arrival and I’m glad that you did it. I really appreciated the way you wrote this post. I sort of experienced a similar shift when I left my blog, although it did not have the history that yours does. I also believe that I have a blog that will come in the future, but I am still formulating it and waiting until it is the right season.

I am so excited for you and your new life here in LA! Your days sound amazing, and I wish that my life was more like that. (I’m currently thinking of switching my life up: leaving the grad school program I’m in and applying to a different one.)

I found the section about how you approach food and exercise now to be very interesting. I’d love to hear more about that journey someday, if you ever wanted to talk about it. Or not.

Cheers to your future! :)

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15 Clare @ Fitting It All In November 27, 2012 at 11:10 am

I’m SO SO happy you’re so happy. I was just out in LA last weekend (but you were probably home in Cinci).

I often think about lots of what you write – that maybe I think TOO much. Why subject myself to rude comments? Why? I know I love the relationships, the experiences, helping others…so I suppose that’s why for now. I have grown to love writing, expressing feelings and keeping track of memories, but I need to constantly evaluate!

GOTTA let us know if you start a new blog!

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16 Christine November 27, 2012 at 11:27 am

Kailey,

I’ve only commented a handful of times, but I’ve been following your blog since pretty much the beginning. At risk of sounding sappy and also kind of creepy, I didn’t realize just how much I’ve enjoyed reading until this last post, at the end of which I found myself thinking, “Damn, I was really looking forward to seeing what she would do next.” We’re the same age, so through all of your college fun/graduation fears/first job successes and disappointments, I’ve been able to relate, as it has all kind of mirrored what is going on in my own life.

And this whole LA thing seems so exciting! Seriously, I so wanted to read about all of it. I guess that’s the way it goes, though; the energy and spontaneity of living in a city like LA make the days so much fun, but so hard to sum up and write about.

All of this jibber-jabber is really just my very long way of wishing you well. You really, really deserve it, and I’m glad you’ve shared all that you did.

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17 Hannah November 27, 2012 at 12:03 pm

While I am sad to see you leave the blog world (you were always the sassiest, funniest, just do-whatever-I-want-est who’s life had a lot of parallels to my own), I think you’ve hit all the reasons why its time to stop on the head. Just live, damnit, and don’t worry about documenting it. You sound so happy! LA fits you well. I’ll be following along via Twitter and Instaglam!

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18 Marcie November 27, 2012 at 12:27 pm

You had a good run, my dear. Enjoyed it.

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19 Natalie November 27, 2012 at 12:57 pm

Hey Kailey,
I’ve been reading your blog for a few years now (and actually used to have a blog of my own – Cinnamon Bums), but have been pretty MIA from the “healthy living” blog world (whatever that really means) for a long time. I really wanted to comment on this post though because it resonates SO much with me, and I totally and completely get you on this. After four years of school in Boston, I’m back in the Bay Area (where I grew up), and living in the Mission (1/2 block from Gracias Madre, 2 blocks from Bi-Rite & Tartine!!), and just loving every single part of my life. Life in the city here is gritty and colorful and so full of possibilities. I discovered that only when I let go of the little preoccupations, which I now realize in retrospect were much easier to focus on, that I was able to challenge myself to live the life I want to live, a life that is venturing out into the city every night, a life that is going out and spending time with people wherever and whenever, a life that is in pursuit of people and the richest experiences and the most intimate relationships — those are the things that I have now. It’s a product of realizing what you fear and doing those things anyway and saying yes and being willing to open yourself up to the whole world that’s out there. And now, more than ever, I have so much to write about, it practically feels like an implosion inside my heart and my head. So cheers to a good life, and cheers to being willing to pursue that good life with all your heart and soul. Take care Kailey!

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20 Emily @ Glitz Glam Granola November 27, 2012 at 1:24 pm

I’m going to miss your blog, but I’m so excited for the new adventures you are having. It sounds like you are truly living your best life and I’m so excited for you. I still feel a little stuck but am hoping that changes very soon and am working on it. I too just turned 25 and have a feeling this is going to be my best year yet! Good luck with everything! xoxo

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21 jen November 27, 2012 at 2:16 pm

I’m depressed! I’ve been reading your blog for 3 years now and you’ve always been my favorite. I’m so proud of you and how you are living life – without regrets and nothing holding you back. You are a badass.

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22 Claire @ Live and Love to Eat November 27, 2012 at 2:20 pm

Happy happy birthday, and best wishes with your exciting LA life!

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23 Melissa @TryingtoHeal November 27, 2012 at 2:24 pm

We’ve missed you, but I’m happy to hear so much you’ve discovered about yourself since you moved to LA. Major moves can do things like that to you. :) Wish we could visit sometime.

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24 SloanCelette November 27, 2012 at 2:39 pm

I’ve only been reading your blog for about a year, but have loved every minute of it! I emailed you after reading my first post (and then reading, like, 50 older ones) and was so touched at your sweet response. I am your age as well with a bday the day after yours and I, too, moved and started a new life 4 months ago. Although I’m not in LA (Austin, actually), it’s similar in that I’m not in the Midwest anymore and I’m living out a new dream. Needless to say, it’s been a joy to read your blog and I wish you all the best in your new LA life!
xox

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25 Yellow Haired Girl November 27, 2012 at 3:40 pm

I’m happy things are so ridiculously good in your corner of the world :) I’ll miss your posts … but it’s strangely comforting knowing that you’re living it up (weird that it comforts me, isn’t it?). Good for you, girl!

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26 Nicole November 27, 2012 at 4:17 pm

This is my favorite post ever :) I’m a Midwesterner as well, and I’m moving out to LA in January and you have definitely gotten me pumped up for all of the shenanigans that await me.

Good luck with everything, and I hope the West Coast continues to treat you well.

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27 Sarah November 27, 2012 at 5:04 pm

Kale Chips,
I love you. This post changes nothing of what you mean to me. I am thrilled for you. You don’t need anyone else to love your life to love your life. Happy birthday, sweet friend.

<3

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28 Molly@This Life Is Sparkling November 27, 2012 at 5:58 pm

I will miss your blog for sure, as you have inspired me to continue chasing my dreams, and never to give up. I know you will continue to succeed in LA and as I can tell through this post, you are where you are meant to be. I wish you all the best and hope to hear how life is on the West Coast in the future. Happy Birthday!

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29 lauren November 27, 2012 at 6:24 pm

i know two of the girls in this photo. small world.

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30 Laura @ Backstage Balance November 28, 2012 at 12:00 pm

Its been a great run Kailey – go get ‘em, girl!

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31 Jennifer (take the day off) November 28, 2012 at 7:35 pm

Sad to see you go! I have so enjoyed getting to know you through your blog and will miss you stories and hip hop recommendations. So excited for your new found FREEDOM (in so many ways) in LA! You will be missed

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32 Sarah B. November 28, 2012 at 11:49 pm

Sad to see you go but glad to hear you’re loving life in L.A.! Thanks for inspiring me to start a blog of my own. It doesn’t have tons of focus, but it helps me explore my creativity, (arguably) hone my writing skills. I love having this little pet project to call my own.

Go get ‘em, girl!

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33 *Andrea* November 28, 2012 at 11:56 pm

Happy birthday and best of luck! This post is so authentic and refreshing, especially since I’ve had a similar revelation this year with blogging and finally moving into the city (lived at home 2 years) and just living life. I will certainly miss your hip hop and rap recommendations : )

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34 Hannah November 29, 2012 at 12:06 am

I remember I reached out to you for advice about internship interviews a couple years ago — even though my overeager e-mail was filled with typos (and probably a few incoherent sentences), you still took the time to respond and answer my questions. How kind you are! I’ve enjoyed reading your blog and always felt like I could relate to what you were going through (pursuing a career in magazine journalism, struggling with overcoming an eating disorder, etc.).

Just wanted to say best of luck to you — wish you all the success in the world!

Hannah

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35 Gina G November 29, 2012 at 12:40 am

Hey Kailey,

You will not be surprised to hear that I am so SO sad to know there is a big possibility that you will no longer be blogging. But at the same time, I could not be any more happy for you. I am so thrilled for you Kailey, I truly am. I am so thankful to have found your blog a couple years ago because you really have inspired me, motivated me, and made a difference for me growing up. I will be turning 21 this coming year and am still struggling to find my way, but you give me hope. Good luck with everything (not that you need it:)! Once again, I am so happy for you and thank you for everything. I know you are going to only continue doing amazing things. xoxo

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36 Conni November 29, 2012 at 2:19 am

What a great send off. You go out and do tha damn thing. LA is so lucky to have you.

Also, I will forever be jealous that you saw The Black Keys in concert.

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37 Carly @ Snack Therapy November 29, 2012 at 2:29 am

I’ve been reading for a loooong time now and I am SO EXCITED FOR YOU! You’re definitely meant for L.A. :). Good luck with all that life has in store for you. Do your thang!

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38 Katie @ SkinnyMinnieMoves November 29, 2012 at 11:16 am

Congrats on new life changes! Change is good!

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39 Taylor November 29, 2012 at 5:32 pm

Happy belated birthday to you :) I’m glad you posted this little re-cap since it caught me up on all that’s happened to you lately. GOOD LUCK WITH EVERYTHING!

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40 sarah December 2, 2012 at 7:12 pm

Kailey, TOO happy for you girl!
You created a huge success in Snackface. You made your stamp on the blog world, & had such sassy presence:).
But all fabulous things must come to an end. And you seem ready to move on to bigger, better things in the next chapter of your life.
I sincerely wish you all the best & oodles of success.

Can I ask if you plan to leave the blog up? Please, please do! It is SUCH a good read, from a smart , talented, witty writer. I mean, you taught me to do my own thang, own it, & be fierce!!

I’m going to miss you love<3.
Xxx

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41 claire December 7, 2012 at 9:21 pm

I’m really happy for you. I wish you all the best and will miss reading your blog!

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42 Lo December 9, 2012 at 1:18 am

i was randomly thinking about you tonight and decided to see if you posted anything new…and oh my gosh what a great post to read. I am sad to see you go, but I am so happy you have found freedom and happiness out in LA.
Don’t stop partying, writing, reading, living, and enjoying all that life has to offer. Lets keep in touch.

Peace and love Kales,
Lo

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43 Annalee Porter December 9, 2012 at 3:43 pm

“I read some of the blogs I’ve followed for years and think, “They’re still obsessed with sugar? They’re still struggling? They’re still measuring that out? They’re still trying to figure out how to stop overeating?” To which I say: You have to take a step back from it all in order to move forward. It’s not that I am cured/the smartest/know it all, it’s just that…why care that much? Why? I really don’t get it. Step away and you’ll find yourself not obsessing so much.”

Muahahah SO spot on. I think back to all the blogs I used to read obsessively and really can’t believe it! I am the happiest and in the best place I’ve been in since I was 14 (when my food/body/etc etc shiet hell cycle began) and I cannot even begin to feign interest in those blogs anymore. I kid you not I think I have read every single post you’ve ever written and you have inspired me to the n’th degree. You have an incredible voice and are such an articulate, honest, engaging writer that I’m a bit bummed to see SnackFace go but I could not agree more with your decision and I think you could have an even more unreal blog, more aligned with who you are TODAY ! My girl, cyberspace needs your voice !! Take your sweeeet sweet time but I can’t wait to see what’s next.
Absurd we haven’t met yet…but it’s inevitable now that your on the w(b)est coast.
xxxxxx
Annalee

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44 Carrie R. December 30, 2012 at 8:25 pm

I have really, really, really enjoyed your blog these years. You are a great writer, and I will read anything you write in the future!

Thank you for sharing your story- it has been exciting, cool, informative, interesting…just an amazing blog. It is great to see someone so self-actualized and happy at your age!

Happy 25th birthday to YOU Ms. K- kick butt in L.A. and enjoy every minute!!! You deserve it.

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45 Stellina @ My Yogurt Addiction January 10, 2013 at 2:02 pm

Sad you won’t be blogging anymore but happy that you are where you should be. Do what is best for you! :)

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46 Natalie January 22, 2013 at 10:15 pm

Ah hell yes. You said exactly what I have thought about the folks out there who continue to blog seven times a day about different ways to eat kale.

Are they even enjoying the kale? Or are they just taking dozens of pictures of it in various states and writing about kale for six hours?

When do you stop writing about how awesome your life is and just start enjoying your awesome life? Cheesy, yes. But true.

I commend you, Kailey. Well done.

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47 Courtney January 27, 2013 at 9:13 pm

I am so thankful that you have spent 4 years opening up your life to us. You are so brave and beautiful!!!
xo
Courtney
http://acosmeticcourtship.blogspot.com

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48 Sam March 3, 2013 at 4:07 pm

Please come back to blogging!!!!

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49 Sarah April 9, 2013 at 5:09 am

Best of luck Kailey,

No sooner did I find your brilliant blog you go :-( wishing you every success in the future.

Take care.

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50 Bee Goes Bananas May 6, 2013 at 11:25 pm

I just stumbled upon your blog and I can’t believe I haven’t found you sooner! I absolutely love reading through your posts. Everything is so happy and positive! I can’t wait to read more! :D Keep up the great work!

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